The journey to become and being a parent can be two of the most challenging experiences in one’s life. Even if everything goes perfectly, it is still stressful.

But unfortunately, not everyone who wants to be a parent has an easy journey getting there. Infertility treatments are stressful and can be traumatic, creating ongoing changes in ones body, emotions, sexuality and relationships.

Pregnancy represents a huge upcoming change and with it fear of what life will be like with a, or another, baby. It can also dredge up fears based in your family of origin and traumas from the past. If you’ve had past experiences of miscarriage or still-birth, having anxiety, fear, and even disengagement or numbing is a normal part of getting pregnant again.

Additionally, the postpartum period comes with sleeplessness, imposter syndrome, fear of harm coming to your baby, and changes in the connection you experience with your spouse or partner. You may have a lot of support, or feel like you have very little from partner, friends, and family. Social supports, experiences during your journey, and your own body chemisty all play a role in how you navigate this time.

Finally, if you’ve experienced a traumatic birth or the terrible loss of your child, during or after pregnancy, the pain and fear can be unimaginable. Perhaps you are currently feeling numb or you are intensely aware of all your feelings and fearing the worst case scenario.

You may notice more arguing with your partner, feel down or helpless, crying at the thought of getting up yet again, feeling touched out, unable to wind down from anxiety and feeling the need to keep checking your baby to make sure they are safe. You may also notice yourself longing for more from your partner, but feeling like they are distancing themselves from you.

Personally, I have been through my own struggles with almost all of these areas and know how much others in this position need support and understanding to make it through their own journey. I work with primarily with couples, but also support individuals, to help you make these transitions as a couple so you can strengthen your connection together.

This can be a very lonely time, even with lots of people around you, and seeing a psychologist experienced in infertility, pregnancy, and postpartum can help you feel more connected to yourself, your baby, your friends, and your partner.

I work with the birthing and non-birthing partners, the couple as a whole, and parents who have gone through surrogacy or adoption. I am an intimacy positive, affirming therapist that works with all relationships and families.